As Muftiah drove... the long miles... to the Santa Cruz SUBUD House... she also recalled... how she and Farlan... were constantly fighting... and arguing so much... as nothing about his fiancée... seemed to please him... neither the way she dressed... or the way she wore her make-up... etc... and even going so far... as to contemptuously jeer... about her so-called... "noble" ... European background...!
And she was even more convinced... that she was doing the right thing... even though Farlan knew nothing... about her secret meeting... with Miriam Brannan... that night...!
Finally arriving at the Santa Cruz SUBUD House... to meet her dear SUBUD Sister Helper... Miriam Brannan... from whom she had bought... her Rambler Station Wagon... about two years earlier... becoming the proud owner... of her very first car... at the age of forty-three... having finally learned to drive... when she was already forty-one... which she loved to do... she was happily looking forward... to their reunion... and to worshipping God... together with her again...
And quickly realized... how well Miriam Received...!
For quite soon after... during their special Latihan Kejiwaan... alone together... surrendering themselves sincerely... and patiently... to their Creator... with Miriam... as a Christian... asking Almighty God... whether
Farlan... was the right man... for Muslim Muftiah... to marry... she Received to Proclaim... in a Loud... Commanding Voice... of Authority...:
"Do Not Doubt... He Is Your Husband...!"
And With Each Of Miriam's Received... Uttered Seven Words... Muftiah Experienced... Spiritually Seeing... Shooting... Bright Blue Shafts Of Light... Like Lightning... Seven Of Them... One After Another... Descending... Entering... And Painfully Piercing... The Top Of Her Head...!
And Each Bright Blue Shaft... Jolted Her... Throughout Her Entire Body... Like Jarring Electric Shocks... Making Her Whole Body... Shudder... And Tremble... With The Powerful Force Of Them...!
And becoming terrified... of Almighty Allah's Wrath... quaking with fear.. she became deathly afraid... to disobey... His Perfect Will for her...
And she began to babble... sobbing... that all of her... was willing... to accept Farlan... as her husband... the young man... who was much younger... than she was... (and which meant... with all his unpleasant... barbed criticisms... the constant fighting... the arguing... and the bickering...!)
Of enormous help to Muftiah... and to soften the Jarring... Chastizing Blow... that her doubting... Had Just Been Dealt... and which calmed her... a great deal... was Being Made... To Open her Eyes... and Witness... Miriam's Beautiful Receiving... in Wonderful Gestures... the Noble Essence... of Farlan's soul... and truly honorable character...!
And in which... Feeling the Magnificence... of Farlan's noble soul... Beautifully Radiating... from Miriam... Muftiah's troubled spirit... was greatly soothed...!
Muftiah had already Received... shortly after Being Brought Together... with him... that the whole of Farlan's Inner Self... had been "Awakened..."... and "Opened..."... at once...! A very unusual phenomenon...!
Quickly noticing... that unlike his fellow SUBUD Brothers... many of them coming... to SUBUD... from a background... of long drug abuse... which ade them look... barely alive... and which Bapak... had warned them... would take about fourteen years... of Latihan Kejiwaan... to become totally Purified... out of them...!... Farlan... not having come... from a background of drug abuse... except for a little bit of experimentation... out of curiosity... was always full of vim... and vigor... and vibrant energy...!
But little did she know then... that only seven years later... their very intense... Jiwa to Jiwa marriage... of Purification... Spiritual Growth... and Development... would come to an abrupt end...!
During their intense seven years... of Holy Matrimony... especially Willed by Allah Almighty God... they were Forbidden... to relate to each other... from their hearts... but only from their Jiwas... giving each other... not what each wanted... but what each needed... and always only... through their separate Receiving...!
And what is more... the moments... of their unique... Holy Union of Marriage... and the way... in which they related to each other... even sexually...! ... Was entirely Designed... Orchestrated... Conducted... and Monitored... by their Creator... Allah Almighty God...!
And the abrupt end... of their sexual union... Happened... just after He Commanded Muftiah... Knowing when she would be likely... to be more receptive... to the terrifying act of sexual intercourse... usually once every two months... to join themselves together... intimately...
She had suffered... a deep seated sexual trauma... ever since she was brutally... sexually assaulted... by a young German POW... when she was a seventeen year old student... living in England...
(That horrendous... life affecting experience... is fully described in "HEAVENLY VISITATIONS" ... under Part IV - Chapter 3... and in Chapter 4... is how ignorant Muftiah found out... via her lifelong Guardian Angel Friend... ever since she was four years old... living in Japan... that she had suffered with a deep seated sexual trauma... ever since she was seventeen...! ... and not that she had been too Spiritual a person... to have any sexual feelings towards a man... always only feeling towards them... what the French so aptly describe as... "amour de coeur" (love of the heart) !!!)
And in obeying... with Farlan... as usual... Receiving Perfectly... how to relax his trembling with fear... nervous wife... their union... accompanied by their mutual... spontaneous... surrendered to their Creator... Latihan
State... becoming for the second time... even more Blissfully... truly one... in body... as well as in Spirit... Almighty Allah Gave her... the most astounding Command... by Saying...:
"That Was The Best... ... ... And The Last...!"
Until the last two times... Muftiah Had Been Forbidden... to surrender herself... to her husband... Farlan... during their God-Commanded moments... of sexual intimacy... because he had to undergo... some sexual Purification... on a very deep level... the Essence of which... was not for Muftiah to absorb... as their life forces mixed... with each other... but Allowed... only to surrender herself... to her Creator... her Heavenly Father... Allah Almighty God...
Their very unique... seven years... of a Jiwa to Jiwa marriage... is more fully detailed... in later Chapters... as indicated... in the Table of Contents...)
Throughout all these years... noble Farlan... rejected by his true mate... Ismana... Muftiah's dear little "itoko" (cousin)... from their previous Japanese incarnation... Has Been Willed by God... to remain... as Muftiah's husband... but in name only...!
And he has been nursing... and taking care of her... for so far... almost twenty-seven years... without once complaining... as she suffered... one God-Willed Stroke... after another... soon after Almighty Allah... ended
their true marriage... while bed-ridden... for the first seven years... and at the same time... continuously Receiving Reminders... that it was time for her... to prepare herself... to leave earth... and periodically Being Commanded by Him...:
"Now Time To Write...!"
Which all still goes on... exactly the same... as of today... Tuesday... July 21st... 2009... at 5.45 a.m....!
A very rare... noble soul... of honorable character... indeed... who... not physically ailing... like his much older wife in name only... Muftiah... constantly is... but who... by the Grace of God... still looks years younger... still lives a life... of total celibacy...!
And who still waits patiently... for his true mate... Isnaini... who became Ismana... shortly after... she was Muftiah's very Special Helper... during the Allah Commanded... Night of Vigil... on the eve... of her very first... Allah Willed Stroke... to come to her senses... and return to him... for good...!
His One and Only Beloved... whose Essence... Resides... in his Jiwa... and whom he often hears... plaintively... and longingly... calling out to him... from inside his Jiwa...:
"Farlan...! Farlan...! Farlan...!"
(To be continued here with Part 2 of the Open Letter... Thanksgiving Day Thursday 11/25/10... Insha Allah... God Willing...)
No comments:
Post a Comment