To this trying to be humble to GOD soul... ever since she was singularly Blessed... to be Inwardly "Opened..." ... and "Awakened..."... TO RECEIVE CONTACT WITH THE GREAT HOLY LIFE FORCE OF ALMIGHTY GOD... in The General Hospital of Johannesburg, South Africa, on May 19th1961... when she was 31 years old... every single Latihan Kejiwaan... that ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD Brings her... is like a Miracle of Divine Grace...
And she always feels humble... and unworthy... to Receive such a Great Blessing...
But at the same time... she is so very grateful... that her BELOVED HEAVENLY FATHER... ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD... Has Not Abandoned... And Forgotten her...
"Oh thank you ALLAH..."
We must not be afraid... that if we give up the practice... of solely relying on... and trusting the dictates... of our hearts and minds... we will be doomed... and unable to cope... in the material world...
Never was this belief more of a fallacy... and more untrue...
Know... dear Brothers and Sisters... that Real Power... Comes from the Jiwa alone... there is nothing to compare... to the Power of Following Inner Guidance... which always results in Grace... Inner Peace... and Harmony... with all those around us...
And which... once practiced regularly... as our Beloved SUBUD Father BAPAK... Recommended... will become automatic in time...
An Angel of GOD once Told Muftiah in a dream...:
"...You Will Always Receive the Excellent Solution... the Perfect Condition...
But because man is weak... and easily influenced by his nafsu... he gives in to laziness... and carelessness... and does not like to always fully obey... his Inner Guidance...
Because you have the Grace of the Latihan Kejiwaan... you must always strive for the Excellent Solution... the Perfect Condition... never settling for less... than the best you can do... the best you can be... always following your Inner Guidance fully... ever obedient to ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD..."
In 1966, this soul... as Grazia Heere... was very fortunate indeed to finally be granted the privilege... of meeting her Spiritual SUBUD father... Beloved BAPAK... in Wilgespruit, South Africa... having waited to meet BAPAK... for five long years...
And she was very happy now... to be in BAPAK's Holy Presence... at long last... and listened very carefully... to ALMIGHTY GOD's WORDS... Spoken through BAPAK's Purified Mouth... as HIS channel...
BAPAK's voice lovingly said to his SUBUD children... that... because we are now Specially Blessed... to have the Grace of SUBUD... and are now Inwardly "Opened..." and "Awakened..." ... to Receive THE POWER OF ALMIGHTY GOD... in the Latihan of SUBUD...
In addition to using our hearts and minds... for our needs in the world... we should now also put into practice... following the Inner Guidance... that had already begun... by sincerely... and patiently... having submitted... and surrendered ourselves... to our CREATOR.. ALMIGHTY GOD... in the Latihan of SUBUD...
And that... by staying close to our Jiwa... at all times... we would be able to Receive Inner Guidance... and that... in fact... if we relied more... on our Inner Guidance... than on our hearts and minds... to fulfill our needs in the world... it would be of great benefit... and bring Grace... Inner Peace... and Harmony... to our daily lives...
So Grazia... who didn't have much of a brain anyway... her adored/feared Papa... always having referred to her... as a useless "Dumb Cluck"... decided that she wanted Grace... Inner Peace... and Harmony... in her daily life...
And thereafter... she very seriously... began to put into practice... staying close to her Jiwa... as much as possible... then soon at all times... following her Inner Guidance... every single day... much more than her heart and mind... with wonderful results... her life becoming full of Grace... Inner Peace... and Harmony... with all those around her... in the very public arena... of the hotel business...
And she quickly learned... that whenever she occasionally... and willfully... and even defiantly... followed the dictates... of her heart... always turning out disappointing... and impure mind... always turning out wrong... instead... the outcomes always caused her great unhappiness... and painful lessons...
(Allah Almighty God's Commanded 32-Page Open Letter of January 3, 1987... To All SUBUD Brothers and Sisters Throughout The SUBUD World - to be Continued... with Part XII ... Insha Allah... God Willing... Monday 1/3/11...)
ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD Is Especially Displeased with the Helpers, those who themselves are not examples... not living and being SUBUD every day of their lives... so that the Members will have a feeling of Inner respect and love for them... and follow their good example... as ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD Intends them to...
ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD Is Also Displeased... because the Helpers do not attend to the Kejiwaan of the Members they are responsible for... by neglecting to explain the Aims and Purposes of SUBUD to them... reminding the Members... as well as themselves... of the importance of the LATIHAN KEJIWAAN....
That really and truly... nothing is as important in our lives: not our husbands... not our wives... not our children... not our jobs... not anyone... or anything...
Daily submitting ourselves... in patient... sincere surrender... to THE POWER OF THE ONE ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD... then following whatever Inner Guidance... and Direction... HE Wills for us... always remaining close to our Jiwas... should be the most important practice in our lives...
Muftiah is very fortunate... to have such a wise and obedient to ALLAH husband... who does not forget to sincerely submit himself in patient surrender... first thing every morning... to ALLAH, his CREATOR... then throughout his working day... ever mindful of ALLAH'S Perfect Inner Guidance... and Direction... following...
Then after Receiving... that his work day is over... even if his work is not yet quite finished... obeying... and coming home and Receiving... how to be the husband for Muftiah... that ALLAH Wills for him to be... and obeying...
Thus she finally has a life of "safety and happiness"... as BAPAK wished for her... so many years ago... with BAPAK having Received for them... as a Marriage Gift... some 11 years ago... that all their needs would be taken care of... as long as they both Worshipped ALLAH daily... in the LATIHAN KEJIWAAN of SUBUD... and always obeyed HIS individual WILL for them...
Muftiah has been told by ALLAH that... because of her beloved husband Farlan's humble... sincere... patient... submissive surrender to ALLAH... his HEAVENLY FATHER... Farlan's Jiwa Will Raise Muftiah's Jiwa Up To Heaven...!
Muftiah is also to remind all her dear SUBUD Brothers and Sisters... of the importance of fasting... on Mondays and Thursdays... Mondays for the improvement of ourselves... such as bad character traits... and if married... how to be a better person for our mate... and Thursdays... for our particular material needs...
This is a HOLY TIME OF GRACE... PARTICULARLY GRANTED... TO ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD's SUBUD children... during which time... if her Brothers and Sisters have deep... and abiding Faith... in GOD's LOVING PROTECTION... lame nafsu excuses used for not fasting... such as "hypoglycemia"... will have no truth... and bear no fruit...
So, dear SUBUD Brothers and Sisters... let us not think it is enough... just to go to GROUP LATIHAN KEJIWAAN... twice or three times a week... surrendering ourselves to our CREATOR... only 50%... or even 85%... and the rest of the time... following the dictates of our impure minds... and fickle emotions of our hearts...
Just like we used to do... before we were singularly Blessed... to RECEIVE CONTACT... WITH THE GREAT HOLY LIFE FORCE OF OUR CREATOR... ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD...
Following those lower forces... will never earn a place for ourselves... in SUBUD Heaven... as an Angel of GOD... once Told this soul...
Muftiah recalls... during her long years in SUBUD... periodically hearig remarks... that SUBUD is not the only Way to God... and that there were other Ways...
And she would agree with them... saying yes... there were many other Ways... of man trying to reach GOD... but that there was only ONE WAY... WHERE ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD... REACHED DOWN TO HIS SPECIALLY SELECTED CHILDREN... WHO... DEEMED WORTHY IN HIS EYES... WOULD BE GREATLY BLESSED... TO BE GIVEN A PART OF HIMSELF... TO RESIDE
IN THEIR BEINGS...
NAMELY HIS GREAT HOLY LIFE FORCE... WHICH POWER... FELT INSIDE THEM... LIKE A GENTLE VIBRATION... AS A CONSTANT REMINDER... OF THE VERY CLOSE HOLY BOND...
BETWEEN THEM... WOULD HENCEFORTH GUIDE... AND DIRECT... PERFECTLY... THE MOMENTS OF THEIR LIVES... INDIVIDUALLY... IN ALL THEY SAID... AND IN ALL THEY DID...
SO NO LONGER THINKING WRONG THOUGHTS... AND MAKING WRONG DECISIONS... AND FEELING WRONG EMOTIONS... CAUSING DISAPPOINTMENTS AND UNHAPPINESS... IN OTHERS... THEY WOULD EVENTUALLY ENJOY LIVES OF INNER PEACE... GRACE... AND HARMONY... WITH ALL THOSE AROUND THEM...
So there really is NOBODY GREATER THAN ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD... WHO CREATED ALL OF US SOULS... AND NOBODY BEYOND HIM... WHATSOEVER...
AND HE HAS BLESSED ALL OF US CHOSEN ONES... EXCEEDINGLY... BY GIVING OF HIMSELF TO US... IN THIS UNIQUE WAY... BEGINNING WITH OUR BELOVED SUBUD FATHER... BAPAK...
SO... DEAR SUBUD BROTHERS AND SISTERS... THIS IS TRULY OUR VERY LAST CHANCE... FOR A VERY SPECIAL... ONE-ON-ONE RELATIONSHIP... WITH THE GREAT ONE... GOD
ALMIGHTY... WHO KNOWS US FAR BETTER THAN WE KNOW OURSELVES... AND KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT WE NEED... AND WHEN...
IN ORDER FOR HIM TO RESHAPE... AND MOLD US... INTO BECOMING NOBLE HUMAN BEINGS OF EXCELLENT CHARACTER... MEN BECOMING REAL MEN... AND WOMEN
BECOMING REAL WOMEN... AS HE CREATED ALL OF US ORIGINALLY... AND OF WHOSE PARTICULAR NATURES... CHARACTERS... AND PERSONALITIES... ONLY HE HAS THE
POWER... TO CHANGE... AND IMPROVE... INDIVIDUALLY...
Let us not run the risk of having the MIRACLE OF GOD'S GREAT HOLY LIFE FORCE... AND THE GRACE OF THE LATIHAN KEJIWAAN... OF SUBUD... REMOVED... AND TAKEN AWAY FROM US... FOREVER... SO THAT ALL OUR SINS... 94% OF OUR ANCESTORS'... AND 6% OF OUR OWN... CARRIED INSIDE US... LIKE A HEAVY BURDEN... WHICH ONLY ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD... HAS THE POWER TO PURIFY... REMAIN UNPURIFIED... FOREVER...?
So that once again... we will be crying out... to GOD... in despair... in the wilderness of this chaotic... increasingly violent world... come about solely through mankind's Godlessness... selfishness... fear... and greed...
(Allah Almighty God's Commanded 32-Page Open Letter of January 3, 1987... To All SUBUD Brothers and Sisters Throughout The SUBUD World - Part XI - to be Continued... Insha Allah... God Willing... Thursday 12/30/10...)
Muftiah is ever Reminded... that the instant she forgets to remember ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD... from moment to moment... she is under the power of the satanic forces... and all the horrors that that inevitable fact signifies...
Regarding the following "Revelation" ...from ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD... Muftiah now asks of all her SUBUD Brothers and Sisters... from all over the SUBUD World... to read it... with a feeling of Emptiness... Openness and Stillness... so that their nafsu hearts... will not react hurt and insulted..:
ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD... Now Tells His Daughter Muftiah... To Obey His Will... And Pass On... To Her Many SUBUD Brothers and Sisters... Throughout The SUBUD World... What ALLAH Revealed To Her... A Few Months Ago...:-
ALLAH Knows His Muftiah very well, and Knows that she hates to be the bearer of bad news... so that His "Revelation" to her... Did Not Come In One Day... But Over A Period Of Three Days...
On The First Day... ALLAH Commanded Muftiah:
"Be Empty And Open..."
So Muftiah Emptied and Opened herself...
And On The Second Day... ALLAH Commanded Muftiah:
"Prepare to Receive in Stillness..."
So Muftiah remained Empty and Open... and made herself Still...
And On The Third Day... ALLAH Said...:
"You Are Now To Pass On... What ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD... Reveals To You.. As Your SUBUD Brothers And Sisters... Come Into Personal Communication With You..."
And Muftiah obeyed - until this morning... when ALMIGHTY ALLAH... Told His Daughter Muftiah... To Write To All Her SUBUD Brothers And Sisters... Throughout The SUBUD World... Passing On His All Important "Revelation" To Her... As Follows...:-
It is the Will Of ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD... That All Those Of His Created Souls... WHOM HE WILLS TO WORSHIP HIM... Through The Latihan Kejiwaan... Of SUBUD... Are To Be More Willing... More Surrendered... More Patient... More Sincere... And More Submissive... To THE POWER OF ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD... AND HIS WILL... For Them... Than They Have Been... Up To This Time And Place...
For Those Of Us Specially Blessed Souls... Who Have Been Opened For Ten To Twenty Years And Over... And Have Not Been Surrendering Ourselves To HIS WILL... Throughout Our Waking Hours... Every Single Day... Living Our Daily Lives... Remaining Close To Our Jiwa... Ever Mindful Of ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD's Individual... Perfect Inner Guidance... And Direction... And Following... Being SUBUD... 24 Hours A Day... Living The SUBUD Way Of Life... And Continuing Into Our Sleeping Hours... SHALL HAVE THE GRACE OF ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD... IN THE FORM Of THE LATIHAN KEJIWAAN... REMOVED... AND TAKEN AWAY FROM US...
(Allah Almighty God's Commanded 32-Page Open Letter of January 3, 1987... To All SUBUD Brothers and Sisters Throughout The SUBUD World - Part X - to be Continued... Insha Allah... God Willing... Monday 12/27/10...)
Muftiah's Open Letter... Continued here... Monday 12/20/10... with an excerpt from her Spiritual Odyssey... "FROM SEVEN HELLS... TO SEVENTH HEAVEN... SUBUD..." Part I - Ninety Days In March - Chapter 6...
Muftiah's Most Awesome... Holy Night Of Christmas Eve... With Ibu... Bapak's Beloved Departed Wife... From Indonesia... Whom She Had Never Met... In Person...! ... The Virgin Mary...! ... And Dear Honora Katz... An Unknown... Jewish SUBUD Sister... Recently Arrived... From England...!
On the long... 45 minute drive to Santa Cruz SUBUD House... to meet with her dear SUBUD Sister... Miriam Brannan... to help her Receive... some very much needed Guidance... from her Creator... her Beloved Heavenly Father... Allah Almighty God... Muftiah was in a state of doubt... and bewilderment...
She was very puzzled... because she and Farlan... whose forthcoming marriage... had been Blessed... and Approved of... by her Beloved SUBUD Father Bapak... when they wrote to him... describing their extraordinary coming together... of Jiwa to Jiwa... as practical strangers... were continually arguing... and fighting... with each other so much...
And then Muftiah found herself recalling... a most unusual Spiritual Experience... of hers... at the Marin SUBUD House... about two years earlier... in 1973...
The Holy Night of Christmas Eve... was a Date... which was very significant for her... because that was the Magical Night...when she... at the age of twenty-two... had felt... the high soul... of her beloved son... Marco... enter her being... at the very moment... when her adored lover... John... poured all his love... into his darling Chuchi... thereby passing... into her receptive body... the oh so precious Drop... of the Water of Life...!
This Holy Night... happened to fall... on a Group Latihan Night... and since she never missed a Latihan... unless too ill... which was rare... even the fact... that it was a holiday... did not deter her... from attending...
And when she arrived... at the Marin SUBUD House... she noticed... sadly... that there were only three SUBUD Sisters present... far less than usual... worshipping their Creator... the SUBUD Way... with the Christians... referring to Him... as Almighty God... and the Muslims... as Allah... and one Jewish lady... referring to Him... as Jahweh...
And some of them... Were Made To Sing... and some To Dance... and some of them... Being Made... To Run around the room... Shouting... At The Top Of Their Lungs... in the large Latihan Hall... as their Creator... Individually... Brought their Spiritually dormant beings... To Glorious Life... In Different Ways... each feminine soul... according to her unique nature... character... and personality... in Preparation... for their Blissful... Eternal Afterlives...
Muftiah's particular Latihan Kejiwaan began... and with her eyes closed... as usual... she Received... as she felt the Vibration... Of The Great Holy Life Force... Of Allah Almighty God... Pulsating even Stronger... inside her... to softly Sing Praises... to Him... while at the same time... spontaneously Receiving... Beautiful Dancing Gestures... of Respectful Homage... to Him...
When all of a sudden... her Voice Stopped... and her Graceful Movements Stopped... and all six foot two of her... Was Made to Stand... Perfectly Still... by the Power of God...!
And she became vaguely conscious... that a lovely young SUBUD Sister... whom she had only seen once... before... about two weeks earlier... was standing very close to her... almost too close...!
Then after the longest while... as she... quite recently... re-named Muftiah... Was Made... to Continue to Stand... Perfectly Still... with her eyes still closed... she periodically felt... after brief intervals... what seemed like Feathery Touches... on her bare feet... then on both her hands... then on her shoulders... then on her forehead...!
And then... after another little while... she suddenly felt a Sharp... Enormous Stab of Pain... Shooting Up... between her legs... into her private parts...!
And this most unusual Sensation... of Firsts... was followed... by a Feeling of Fullness... as if Something Big... and Round... Had Been Thrust Up... Deep Inside her...!
And then... some while after... as she Was Being Made... to Continue... to Stand Perfectly Still... with her eyes closed... the Enhanced Vibration... of The Great Holy Life Force... of her Creator... her Beloved Heavenly Father... Allah Almighty God... Was Lessened... to its usual Gentle Vibration... inside her...
And as always... this indicated to her... that her half hour time... of unconditional... sincere surrender... to Him... for Spiritual Growth... and Development... as well as possibly... some more Purification... of her... and her evil ancestors' many sins... according to His Perfect Will... for her... a Latihan Kejiwaan... which on this Holy Night... Had Been Most Extraordinary... indeed... Was Over...
Later on... having put her shoes... and jewelry back on... and retrieving her roomy... shoulder tote bag... from under her chair... in the corner... as usual... the same lovely young SUBUD Sister... clearly a Jewess... approached her... as she was getting ready to leave...
And again... greatly impressed... by the lady's large... soft brown eyes... and beautiful... long... flowing... raven black hair... who introduced herself... as Honora Katz... and who reminded Muftiah... very much of Audrey Hepburn... she asked her... whether she would kindly give her a lift home... because the lady... she had come with... had gone... leaving her behind...!
And then she explained... in very cultured English... that her husband... was babysitting their baby son... Jason... instead of their usual baby-sitter... who had not been able to come... because it was Christmas Eve...
Muftiah had been invited... to a Christmas Eve party... at a young SUBUD couple's house... named Helissa and Mark Penwell... after Latihan... and was glad to give the young lady... a lift home... admiring the quiet aura... she had about her...
But as soon as she got into her car... she started to feel quite ill... and all shivery... as if she was coming down with a cold...! And decided... that she would drop Honora off... stop in briefly... at the Penwell's... out of courtesy... then head straight home for bed...
Just as they were about to reach the street... to Honora's apartment building... Muftiah suddenly found herself... beginning to confide... to this perfect stranger... who was sitting so quietly beside her... about her strange... most unusual Latihan... of that night... and the sudden Stab of Pain... ... ...
When Honora quietly interrupted her... so that she never got to say... "between my legs... up into my private parts...!"... stating... that she wasn't going to say anything... but since Muftiah... seemed to be so sensitively aware... she was going to explain... everything to her...!
And for the next ten minutes... or so... with Muftiah driving very slowly... on the barely lit... deserted street... Honora... speaking softly... in her very cultured English... quietly told... a mesmerized Muftiah... how her services... were periodically used... by Ibu... Bapak's Beloved wife... who had since passed on - May she Glory... in the Paradise... of her Afterlife - for specific Spiritual Purposes... regarding very special SUBUD Marriages... that were especially Willed By God...!
Adding that... only this night... had been particularly different... perhaps because it was... the Holy Night of Christmas Eve...!
Because on this very special Night... as her feet... Were Directed... To Walk Across... the long length... of the large Latihan Hall... towards a very tall lady... and having Reached her... Was Made to Stand... very close to her unknown SUBUD Sister... Muftiah... immediately understanding... that her particular "Marriage Services"... were about to be required... once again... by Ibu... wondering how that could happen... since Ibu had passed on to her Afterlife... since the last time... she saw a Golden Chariot... Descending from Heaven... which Hovered... Shimmering... slightly above her head... and sitting inside the Shining Vehicle... was Ibu... Bapak's Beloved departed wife...!
But... to her utter amazement... instead of being alone... as usual... the Virgin Mary... was with Ibu...!
And both of the Ladies... Looking Beautiful... Young... and Vibrant... and full of Energy... and Dressed in Robes... of Vivid Colors... brilliant hues... such as she had never... ever seen before... were happily Laughing... and Giggling... and Chattering away... to each other... just like young... carefree schoolgirls...!
Then... after a little while... a Beautiful... Slender Ibu... who had been quite overweight... when she was living on earth... still Laughing... as usual... Handed down to Honora... a small Vial... filled with a Colored Liquid... and sobering for a moment... quietly instructed her... to Anoint Muftiah's bare feet... with its Holy Contents...!
And after Honora... bending down... had obediently finished emptying the Holy Contents... of the Vial... on Muftiah's bare feet... she returned the empty Vial... up to Ibu... who stopped happily conversing... with the Virgin Mary... for a moment... only to hand her... another small Vial... with a different Colored Liquid... telling her to Anoint... both of Muftiah's hands... with its Holy Contents...!
And after she had done so... Ibu Handed her yet another One... with yet another Color... telling her that she should Anoint... both of Muftiah's shoulders... which diminutive Honora... had to reach way up... to her height... of six foot two... to do so...!
And the last Colored... Holy Vial... was for Anointing Muftiah's forehead... which Honora also had to stretch herself way up... to the very ends of her toes... to reach...!
And with all the Holy Vials... Vanishing into thin air... after each Holy Use...! ... Ibu... for the very first time... Handed down to Honora... a Golden Round Ball... instructing her... to thrust It inside Muftiah... between her legs...!
By this time... they had reached Honora's apartment building... and with a dazed Muftiah... now feeling... as sick as a dog... and understanding... why she had felt the feathery Touches... on her body... and Sharp Stab of Pain... between her legs... she heard Honora quietly say... as she got out of her car... thanking her for the ride home... and looking very serious...:
"Yours is going to be a most unusual Marriage... my dear... for you have been Singularly Blessed... to be Anointed... in more places... than the other SUBUD Sisters...! And what is more... Ibu has never given me... a Holy Golden Ball before... to Spiritually thrust... inside a SUBUD Sister...!"
Now all alone again... as Muftiah groggily... drove her car... to the Penwell's house... with Christmas gifts... for them... she marvelled... once again... of thousands of times... at how Great... the Power of God Was... that He Could Cause... A Golden Ball... To Be Thrust Inside her... not physically... but Spiritually... with her being dressed... as usual... in one of her long... colorful Latihan robes... which reached way down... to her ankles...!
The Penwell's cozy home... was full of SUBUD Brothers and Sisters... happily celebrating... which made her feel very sad... that they did not really appreciate... the Miraculous Gift... of the Latihan Kejiwaan... that their Creator... Had so exceedingly Blessed them with...
Otherwise... they would have set aside... just that one single... little half hour... to humbly surrender themselves... to their Creator... at the Marin SUBUD House... on that Holy Night... which happened to fall... on a scheduled Latihan Night... of only two... half hour nights... a week...!
Why... it could have been quite possible... that they could have been particularly Blessed... on this Special Holy Night... recalling the Father of all mankind... Holy Man of God... her Beloved SUBUD Father Bapak... counseling his SUBUD children... never to neglect the Latihan... and never to resist... what Almighty God... Made Arise in them... during their very important... half hour... of unconditionally worshipping Him... through their total... sincere surrender to Him...
Even going so far as to say... that during that one single time... of their thirty minutes... of sincere surrender... to their Creator... Could Result... in Him Granting them... as a Reward... Purification of all their sins... committed during... and throughout nine life times...!!!
But then... becoming her usual... sympathetic... and understanding self... and it dawning on her... that this was a Golden Opportunity... to share with the whole assembly... her awesomely Wondrous... Experience... of that Holy Night... which she was quite sure... they would have loved to hear about... as she drew their attention to herself... and opened her mouth to speak... with everybody looking up at her great height... expectantly...she suddenly felt a Violent Wave of Nausea... and then the very familiar Sensation... of her Throat Being Closed Up...!
And as her SUBUD Brothers and Sisters saw... how white her face had become... as she started to shiver... all over again... and realized... to her dismay... that her Extraordinary Experience... of that Holy Night... once again... was for her alone... and not to be shared... with anybody else...! ... her SUBUD Brothers and Sisters... became most sympathetic... suggesting that she should go home... agreeing that she shouldn't stay...
Barely able to wish them all... a Merry Christmas... Muftiah somehow managed to drive home... ten minutes away... and as she relieved herself... on the throne... now feeling so sick... that all she wanted... was to crawl into her bed... she vaguely became aware... of the wonderful Scent of Roses... Wafting up towards her... as she urinated...!
And for the next seven days... spent sick in bed... with a raging fever... understanding... that she was going through... a very important... necessary period... of heavy Purification... unable to eat anything... but drinking lots of orange juice... every time... Muftiah sat on the throne... and relieved herself... which was often... her wonderful Christmas Gift... of the Heavenly Golden Ball... inside her... Spiritually Given to her... by her Beloved Heavenly Father... Allah Almighty God... through never met Ibu...! ... the Virgin Mary...! ... as well as dear... gentle... Jewish Honora... Would Release... a Heavenly Scent of Roses...!
And as sick... and as weak... as she was... barely able to stand... she would Blissfully inhale... and breathe in... for as long as possible... the Heavenly Aroma... feeling that she Was Being... Exceptionally Blessed... by her Loving Creator... Whose Presence... and Loving Approval... of her... His loving daughter... she had always Felt... inside her being... ever since she could remember...!
(Allah Almighty God's Commanded 32-Page Open Letter of January 3, 1987... To All SUBUD Brothers and Sisters Throughout The SUBUD World - Part IX - to be Continued... Insha Allah... God Willing... Thursday 12/23/10...)
From the moment that Farlan and Muftiah Were Brought Together... practically as strangers... with No dating Allowed...! to get to know each other... at least a little bit... Farlan had Received that he was to have a "Rochani" wife... the full story of which you can read all about in Muftiah's book "Ninety Days in March"... (which since has become the title for Part I... with the name of the book changed to "From Seven Hells... To Seventh Heaven... SUBUD"...
It Was ALLAH Who Was In Absolute Charge... And Control... Of Farlan and Muftiah's Coming Together... Causing Them Both To Go Into A State Of Heightened Awareness... Whenever They Were In Each Other's Company...
And After They Were Married... ALLAH Orchestrated... Conducted... Directed... And Guided... The Moments Of Their Jiwa to Jiwa Relationship... And Even Their Sexual Unions...!
Farlan and Muftiah Had Been Told By ALLAH That They Were Literally To Harbor No Secrets From One Another Of Any Kind...!
And Farlan And Muftiah... Learned Very Quckly... That They Were Not Ever Allowed... To Relate To Each Other From Their Hearts - Not Allowed To "Make Each Other Happy"...!
For Whenever They Tried To Please Each Other... Such As Farlan Offering Muftiah A Cup Of Tea... With A Friendly Smile... (Because Of Her Life-Long Weak Heart... She Cannot Tolerate Coffee... Except For Her Favorite Coffee Ice Cream... Allowed her By ALLAH...)
Or Muftiah Offered Farlan A Cup Of Coffee... With A Friendly Smile... There Would Be An Immediate Disaster... Of The Cups Offered To Each Other... From Their Hearts... Suddenly Tipping Over... All By Themselves... Burning The Two Of Them... Who Were Just Trying To Pleasantly... "Make Each Other Happy"... Inbetween All The Bickering... Arguing... And Fighting...!
They Were Only To Obey Inner Guidance... That Would Come To Them... Giving Each Other What Each Needed... Not What Each Wanted...!
For instance, they both naturally assumed that, as a good, dutiful Muslim wife, Muftiah should cook for her beloved husband Farlan...
But each time she tried... the moment she stepped into her kitchen... All Six Foot Two Of Her... Would Experience Painful Sensations Of Stinging... On Her Never Ending Long Legs... Making Her Jump... And Hop From Foot To Foot...
And Totally Unnerved... She Would Drop The Cooking Implements... Painfully On Her Feet... And Burn Herself... On The Stove... (this was before they had a Microwave Oven)...
And she would dissolve into tears... when Farlan would angrily push away the plate of food... she offered him... which had been uch a battle for her... claiming that he refused to eat food cooked from her heart... a healthy dish that she had so painfully prepared for him...
And when she told him how her legs would be Attacked... the moment she stepped into her kitchen... to cook for him... he would nionchalantly brush her complaint off... telling her that the satanic forces... were trying to prevent her from doing her wifely duty... and that she should just ignore them...!
And naturally... respecting his great SUBUDness... and utter devotion to GOD... she believed him...
Strangely... Muftiah never had any problems cooking for herself... and the food was always accepted by Farlan... when they were too poor to afford to eat out... and during those lean times... there were no Stinging Attacks on her legs...!!!
And it took them some 10 years to learn... when Farlan Was Told... one evening... as he was cooking for his bed-ridden Muftiah... that in their very unique... ALLAH-Guided... and Directed... Jiwa to Jiwa Marriage... his wife Muftiah... Was Not Obligated... Or Expected by ALLAH... To Cook For Her Husband... At All...!
They always happened to live near an eating establishment... and every day... around four in the afternoon... Muftiah would Receive... That They Should Go Out For Dinner...
But she never had the heart to suggest it... because as soon as Farlan walked in the door... he would exclaim... with a great big smile of joy on his face... how happy he was... to be back in the peaceful sanctuary of our home once again... shutting out the rat-race material world behind him... always fearful that entrance to it... Would Be Denied Him... By ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD...
It was very difficult for Muftiah, because she wanted romantic love so very much... and it took two years of ALLAH Knocking Down Each Desire... As It Arose In Her... Teaching Her Painful Lessons...:
"OBEY ALLAH" - "ONLY WHEN ALLAH WILLS... NOT WHEN YOU WILL" - - "ALLAH IS GUIDING THIS MARRIAGE... NOT YOU..." etc. etc...
And all this painful Training of "NOW INNER LIFE ONLY... NO MORE OUTER LIFE..." ... Going On... while they lived on the beautiful romantic island of Hawaii..!
Having Been Sent There By ALLAH... Just Three Months After Their Muslim Marriage Ceremony At the Santa Cruz SUBUD House... with Farlan all healed... from the circumcision He Was Commanded to undergo... during his Latihan... just one month before their marriage...
Soon after arriving in Hawaii... living in the only high rise building in Hilo... Muftiah suddenly Received... early one morning...:
"You Are No Longer To Cook For Your Husband...!"
Overjoyed... yet a bit fearful... as soon as he came home... before her courage could fail her... she blurted out... what she had Received that morning... that she was no longer to cook for him...
And instead of getting angry... he amazed her by whooping with joy... exclaiming that now he could cook all the foods he loved... such as hamburgers... hot dogs... etc. etc... all foods she never served him... because he always ate hamburgers for lunch... and she... very concerned about his health... because he was so skinny... would make it her business to prepare him nourishing meals... for the evening... with lots of healthy vegetables...
But then... inbetween being sick in bed... for weeks on end... with heavy Purification... she began to feel useless... and so... when she was on her feet again... she made the biggest mistake... by making herself useful... and cooking for him once more... which meant... that she was going against the Perfect Will of ALLAH... for her...!
ALLAH Allowed her to go on cooking for her perpetually disappointed husband... until some five years later... when her Punishment Came... in the Painful Form... of what she described above... Being Made to Endure them... until the seventh year... when ALLAH Abruptly Ended... the intimate side of their marriage... and Began her series of Strokes... Keeping her bed-ridden... over the next seven years... while Periodically Commanding her To Write...
(All the above is fully described in "Seven Hells" in Part I of Ninety Days In March...)
Whenever ALLAH Willed Farlan and Muftiah to join themselves together in sexual intercourse, they would obey... with both of them surrendered to ALLAH... the whole time... in Latihan...
But immediately after the Blissful State of Union... there would be much necessary fighting... so that deep-seated bad character traits... could come out of both of them...!
The first time it happened... was a huge shock for Muftiah - it was hard for her to accept such a sudden turn-around... from one Blissful Moment... to one of distasteful ugliness... coming out of the sneering mouth of her disdainful husband... uttering words of utter contempt for her...!
Then time would pass... and Farlan and Muftiah would feel that they were drifting farther and further apart from each other... wondering how on earth they would ever feel close and as one again...
Then when they felt the most distant from each other, about two months later... having been constantly fighting... bickering... and arguing... with each other... meantime... at the same time... they felt the very strong Jiwa to Jiwa Bond... between them...!!! ... ALLAH Would Command Them... To Join Themselves Together In Sexual Iintercourse...
And obeying... with Farlan Always Receiving... Perfectly... how to relax his trembling... nervous wife... in his loving arms... until she longed to be joined to him... as closely as possible... instantly... they would feel as one again...!
ALLAH'S Command always Came through Muftiah... with HIM Knowing... when she would be more receptive to the Act... that always frightened her... due to her deep-seated sexual trauma... caused when... as a sensitive 17 year old virgin... living in England as a student... she was brutally sexually attacked... by a young German Prisoner-of-War...
(That horrendous... terrifying experience... is fully described in "Heavenly Visitations"... under Part IV... Chapter 3...)
To this day, Farlan and Muftiah still Receive spontaneous Latihan Kejiwaans together... and Farlan has become Muftiah's Helper/husband now, often helping Muftiah to bear her suffering...
Farlan's reminder to his wife Muftiah has always been and still is...:
"First ALLAH - then Muftiah - then Farlan...!"
In other words, first and foremost... must come the Worship of Muftiah's CREATOR, HER BELOVED HEAVENLY FATHER... ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD, in Latihan...
Then Muftiah is to love herself and "Muftiah Make Muftiah Happy"... but always with ALLAH'S Inner Guidance...
(Making herself happy... was very difficult for Muftiah... to accept as her right... because from a very early age... she had been trained... by her adored/feared Papa Rau... to make herself useful to others... the only way she would be accepted... by him... since she was such a useless... brainless "dumb cluck"...)
Then she is to love her husband Farlan... and attend to his needs... as ALLAH Guides her to... both Spiritually and Materially... although for the past 4 years... Muftiah is no longer able to attend to Farlan's material needs... such as doing his laundry... for she is now confined to her deathbed... Inwardly happily living out her end days... writing by the Command of ALLAH...
(Allah Almighty God's Commanded 32-Page Open Letter of January 3, 1987... To All SUBUD Brothers and Sisters Throughout The SUBUD World - to be Continued... Monday 12/20/10...
with an Excerpt from her Spiritual Odyssey... "From Seven Hells... To Seventh Heaven... SUBUD..." under Part I "Ninety Days In March"... Chapter 6... in which she tells of her remarkable Experience... on the Holy Night of Christmas Eve... when Bapak's departed wife Ibu... accompanied by the Virgin Mary... Were Sent Down To Earth... by ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD... To Prepare Muftiah... for her unique... Jiwa to Jiwa Marriage to Farlan...)
Allah Almighty God's Commanded 32-Page Open Letter of January 3, 1987... To All SUBUD Brothers and Sisters Throughout The SUBUD World - Part VII - Continued Monday 12/13/10...
Muftiah realized that this was to be her last SUBUD name on earth, and, at the time, she was foolishly disappointed that her name did not have a "Spiritual Meaning"...
What a silly girl she was - the name Muftiah has meant more for her Spiritually... than mere words can ever describe...!
During that year, every now and again, Muftiah would have a strange Latihan Kejiwaan, at the Marin SUBUD House ... in which she would laugh her head off, singing joyfully...:
"December...! December...!" ...
And inside her, there was a "knowing"... that it had to do with the "marriage" that her HEAVENLY FATHER... ALMIGHTY GOD... Had Told her about... during her time of Penance... still feeling as if she was in a state of Disgrace...
And Muftiah protested to HIM... insisting that she functioned in the world so much better as a single person, with plenty of energy and well-being... but that whenever she was married, she spent much of it ill in bed, sapped of vim and vigor, undergoing heavy purification most of the time...
So ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD Decided To Teach HIS willful daughter... yet another valuable Lesson...:
Shortly after, one night, during group Latihan Kejiwaan... after about ten minutes of Receiving Vigorous Movement... instead of usually Gently Swaying... as she sang Praises to her Beloved CREATOR... the familiar Vibration Suddenly Stopped inside Muftiah... and she Was Made to stand perfectly still... there in the room... with about thirty of her Sisters... Feeling Strangely Empty... And Sad... And Very Foolish...!
And the longer the time passed... as she Was Made to go on... Standing Perfectly Still... the more Empty... and Sad... and Foolish she felt... until she felt she could not stand another second of it...
Then a Voice Spoke Inside Her... Asking Quietly... Whether She Still Did Not Wish To Be Married... Because The Way She Had Just Been Feeling... Would Be How Her Future Unmarried Life Would Be: Empty... Sad... And Very Foolish...!
Muftiah, becoming very afraid, immediately begged forgiveness, pleading that every fiber of her being... would be willing to experience the married state again...
And exactly one year after arriving in Marin, in December... Muftiah, having Received to take the vow of Islam a month earlier... was Brought Together with Farlan... who was already a Muslim...!
At one point... as Muftiah realized that this was really "it"... she went to visit her dear sister Rochanah Weissinger... and told her that she could not possibly fit a husband into her busy life, as well as all the activities she was involved in - she would not know how to cope...
And Rochanah had smiled at her and said:
"You silly girl, now you will have a husband who will be working for you...!"
And Muftiah had felt very stupid, her mouth hanging open, as she said:
"Oh, - I never thought of that...!"
Some five years later, when Muftiah met Rochanah again, she said that she was very surprised... that we were still married... for she had Received... on our wedding day... that our marriage would be very difficult...
And Muftiah had told her how she and Farlan had made a fervent promise to ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD... that they would endure whatever they had to... in order to become the husband and wife that ALLAH Intended for them to become... - and they have... to this very day... the 3rd of January 1987... some 12 years later... although ALLAH Suddenly Ended the intimate side of their marriage... for good... after only seven years...!
P.S. Beloved BAPAK is here with me in Spirit... directing his series of letters about Love. Marriage and Sex... and wants his daughter Muftiah... to share the following...:
In Muftiah's Spiritual Odyssey... "From Seven Hells... To Seventh Heaven... SUBUD..." ... she describes how soon after Ending the intimate side of her marriage to Farlan... ALLAH Willed her to endure a seven year long... bed-ridden period... suffering with one Stroke after another... she stopped counting them after the 37th!
And during her second year of being confined to her bed... increasingly much too weak to get out of it... ALLAH greatly astonished her... by Suddenly Commanding her... early one morning...:
"Now Write... About Your Childhood... Your Ancestry... Your Life...!"
Thus the 28 years of ALLAH Commanded Writing began... where she could only Write... whenever He Commanded her to... usually for ten hours at a time...
And she quickly came to realize... that she Was Not Permitted... to write from her mind... because whenever she tried to remember something... about an incident in her life... she would Receive such a Stab of Pain in her head... which would Immediately Stop all her thinking...!
She also became aware... that she Was Only To Write... From The Flow Of Her Jiwa... first sitting up in bed... and writing longhand on legal size reams of paper... the first year... until one day... Farlan delighted her... when he Received to buy her a computer to write on...!
And she understood even more... because as her fingers Were Made To Fly over the keyboard... another dimension Was Added... to her Writing...
Her eyes Would Fill With Tears... so that she was unable to see... or read... what she was writing... until the ten hours had passed...!
Of course... when she was writing on paper... ALLAH Filling Her Eyes With Tears... would have ruined her writing... as the Tears would have blotched the paper...
So ALLAH Waited... until she had a computer... To Give her the Extra Dimension...!
And then... when her fingers Were Stilled by ALLAH... and Being Allowed by HIM to read what had come out of her Jiwa... she would always be amazed... at what had been so accurately produced on her computer...
(Allah Almighty God's Commanded 32-Page Open Letter of January 3, 1987... To All SUBUD Brothers and Sisters Throughout The SUBUD World - Part VIII - to be Continued... Insha Allah... God Willing... Thursday 12/16/10...)
A few weeks later, Muftiah had her first GOD-Willed Stroke, the date and time of which was Received, not only by Muftiah, but by another dear SUBUD sister, Isnaini, now Siti Ismana, (her "itoko" (cousin) from her last Japanese incarnation) as well, independent of each other, and at the same time...!
And so it has been, with Muftiah's beloved Farlan, now sleeping in a separate room, although no longer husband and wife in one sense, still connected by our Jiwas, as we were when we were first brought together, Jiwa to Jiwa, (Inner to Inner/Soul to Soul) in Marin, 12 years ago, practically as strangers...!
During Laura's 4-month GOD-Willed Crisis State, when she willfully decided to observe the Ramadan fast, despite Testing saying: "No", within the first three days, she became very ill...
And after her Penance... working as a cleaning woman for the Catholic church was over... ALMIGHTY GOD said to her... early one morning...:
"I Am Displeased With Your Willfullness... ... Deciding Whether To Let You Die Right Now... In A State Of Disgrace... ... Or Give You Another Chance At Work... ... ... And Marriage...!"
And Laura trembled in fear, at the Wrath in her HEAVENLY FATHER'S Voice and Words... and begged for forgiveness...
Then her dear National Helper SUBUD Brother Labasir, whose wife Munawaroh was away in Cilandak for Ramadan, asked Laura to help him with some Helper correspondence, and she happily complied...
When it was over, Labasir thanked Laura, then handed her an Air Letter, with the words:
"Now Laura write to BAPAK!",
and Laura stared down at the small sheet of paper, wondering how on earth she could pour out all her woes to BAPAK on it...
But Miracle of Miracles, somehow her whole miserable story got told - and a few weeks later, BAPAK's reply came, with no advice to surrender more, as she had expected, like in his last letter to her, but simply giving her the new Muslim name of Muftiah...!
Soon thereafter, as Muftiah, her life changed completely, Receiving to go to Marin, (which place had been Tested in Miami two years earlier, after her divorce from Mark, as the only place for Laura to go to!), where she worked very hard for a year, first at Good Goods, also teaching singing, writing and French...
Then she became an assistant to Dr. Maniscalco, a SUBUD Brother chiropractor in San Francisco, and was also stringing beads for Dharma - and, last but not least, she was... through Testing... a "reserve" Helper for the Marin SUBUD Center...
Muftiah was now very content, living in a beautiful apartment, driving her own car, always staying close to her Jiwa, Receiving Inner Guidance for her daily work life, and feeling restored back into ALLAH ALMIGHTY GOD'S Grace again...
One day, Muftiah decided to write to BAPAK to ask what the meaning of her new SUBUD name was... and BAPAK wrote back to Muftiah, through his daughter Ibu Siti Rahayu...:
"...because you have Received the name Muftiah from BAPAK, you should use this name with a feeling of happiness and a contented heart.
The meaning of the name Muftiah, for you, is "one who has a personality", or someone who does not easily become the plaything of a situation - (is not easily pushed around).
Hopefully, with such a name, you will Receive what you wish for, both in this world as well as in the hereafter.
I hope that my short explanation will not disappoint you...."
(Allah Almighty God's Commanded 32-Page Open Letter of January 3, 1987... To All SUBUD Brothers and Sisters Throughout The SUBUD World - Part VII - to be Continued... Insha Allah... God Willing... Monday 12/13/10...)
